Archive for May, 2008

O 2 B 29.again

// May 13th, 2008 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I printed and framed this for my “baby” girl 8 years ago. I’m proud to say she’s still learning and growing, and has also acquired lots of life’s lessons from people other than me. Tough lessons. Messy lessons. Real lessons. But lessons we all need to learn eventually. I only pray that every now and again, she reads it. And if you’re someone’s child, you should read it, too, no matter how old you are. Because in the big picture, we are all God’s children.

Reflectons of a Mother

I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.
I can buy you beautiful clothes, but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you the facts of life, but I can’t build your reputation.
I can tell you about drink, but I can’t say “no” for you.
I can warn you about drugs but I can’t prevent you from using them.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can’t achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I can’t force you to be gracious.
I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make you moral.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.
I can love you with unconditional love all of my life…and I will.

Never, never, never quit. (This was lovingly stitched on her tennis towel, also)
Love, Mom 5/13/00
(My apologies for not knowing the author.)

Tea today: Blue mango green

So many prayers, so few answers…

// May 12th, 2008 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Lots of emotions were flurrying in my head this weekend, and that wasn’t my plan. I wanted an empty, calm head. A strong, relaxed back. A sound, long night’s sleep. That was my plan, but not His plan. Like we can really make plans. Someone once told me that if you don’t believe God has a sense of humor, just try making your own plans. For a day, for your life, for your family, for your friends – don’t even waste your time stewing about whether yours is happening. Our challenge is to trust His plans and know they are better for us than we can plan for ourselves. As long as we make choices that bring us closer to Him (free will is scary sometimes, right Bruce?), we can still make an attempt. So many derailments this weekend that sabotaged my alleged plan. Dis-ease. A heart-wrenching video at church Saturday, watched in solitude. (Was I the only one crying? I didn’t look around to see, but I doubt it). Sad news about a church friend today. Judy, I have prayed for you for many months now. And Stuart, you’re the newest addition to my prayer list tonight. Add to that my kiddos and my husband and of course, on this special day, my own mother, and it’s no wonder I’m up all night asking Him to make the Plan clear. Like that’s going to happen. I can still ask, can’t I? The intent is that I trust Him that His plan is better, faith will get me up in the morning and His grace will see me through one more day. One at a time. It’s worked for me for almost 57 years – and a lot longer than that for others. 3 John 1:4
Tea tonight: Green with strawberries

The Week that Was

// May 10th, 2008 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

TGIF, but not in the true sense as I’m rather fearing the weekend. It’s one I fear every year because it gets so built up and expectations are high, and then …. whump. I missed my walk tonight and my back is reminding me of that. I missed my supper because my gut said “no, leave me alone.” I miss my mom because I can, even though she’s just a phone call away. I always miss my Gramma B. and am not sure why she has been in my mind so much lately. Maybe I do know. Her life was a struggle, she lived simply and without fanfare (Little House on the Prairie comes to mind), she persevered through the worst of the worst emotions, physical struggles, psychological pain, and she was a survivor. She had next to nothing but wanted no more. She survived longer than she wanted to. Her faith was her life and she lived it day in and day out. She was the one I’d hop in the Corvair to go visit when things weren’t going like I wanted them to. I’d surprise her on a Saturday, and the bread would always be warm and the sugar cookies fresh. She listened. She loved. She reminisced. I usually cried. Her face would light up when I asked her about “when she was a little girl.” I see her in me so much lately because I want to go back to that simple, less complicated life. I have been reveling in solitude lately and that sort of scares me, but I enjoy DQT (thanks, Pastor Mike) and a seemingly more organic life. In some sense, it feels like surrender. I’m ready to give up lots of “stuff” for that simple life, smaller abode, cheaper gas, lower profile, hands-in-the-dirt sort of life. Tomorrow I’ll start with the push mower in the yard and we’ll see where that takes my thoughts, prayers, and dreams. The smell of the grass triggers all three.


I’m holding some high expectations for next week, that it treats me better than this one, that it brings some hope and promise and renewal for what lies ahead. There are plans, this I know – for wholeness and not evil, for a future and hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Tea tonight: Jasmine

Joe.Mama.busted

// May 5th, 2008 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

My arms are empty, I cried as I left DM, and I cried when the boys and their S/O’s left Hudson. They told me they read this. Do I feel like they might feel if I read their MySpace pages? Naw, I have nothing to hide, only the occasional goofy random thought.This will get very boring very fast, so I’m sure my following is short-lived, except for you old faithful friends out there. Here’s a shout out to all of you. I thank each of you for the time we spent together this weekend, and can’t wait to see you again. I’m so proud of each and every one of you – for persevering, for believing, and for loving each other. Treat each other well, take care of each other, watch out for each other – all of you. God is smiling, as am I. But He’s not doing it through tears…or maybe He is. If so, they are happy ones.
Tea time: Kiwi pear green (Republic of Tea)

Newer Entries »