Texting with Grandpa (Alternately titled “One Ringy Dingy”)

// January 10th, 2011 // Family, My Fabulous Life

Image: sportsmemorabilia.com

It’s only been in the past year or so that Ron Burgundy has learned to text. He’s progressive like that. I remember the first time he attempted to send a text message a couple years ago on an old cell phone using T9. We were sitting in a restaurant with one of the kids, and I was trying to get him to text our youngest son.The process didn’t take well. His first message?

“AAA”

Whatever. Luke wasn’t sure if he was stuck by the side of the road, in pain, or losing his journalistic skills. Besides that cryptic message cost him 20 cents, as did the reply that said “Huh??”

The whole situation is sort of a conundrum because he does a lot more difficult technological things like shooting and editing video with complicated software, some great effects and wiring nine thousand Christmas lights to our master substation. But texting, until now, was just a bit more complicated.

Now that grandparenthood is on the horizon, we have officially become old, but not too old to learn. Just a mite slower.

Texting was created for guys like him – he’s a two-finger typist who has never known or practiced the “home row” method. Once I mentioned the “QWERTY keyboard” to him, I got the deer-in-the-headlights look. Even so, RB has finally embraced smartphone technology, and tries to get me to believe that indeed, the home row is meant for two fingers (or opposable thumbs, as it is). He’s pretty active on Twitter and has more friends on Facebook than the average bear.

But the real progress is texting. He cracks me up when he puts a salutation in his texts “Dear Katie….” or “signs” his texts to the kids: “Love, Dad.” And he texts me more frequently, sometimes with misspellings. And then he corrects them in the next text, but really, I got the message. I know “lpve yot” means “love you.”

I’m trying to get him to learn some abbreviations, but since now we’re officially old aging boomers, I found it quite convenient when I was recently sent a key for texting for seniors. It’s a win/win for us. Every marriage needs consistent and relevant communication to, you know, keep that spark alive.

Enjoy our new lingo:

ATD: At The Doctor’s

BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare

CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center

DWI: Driving While Incontinent

FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

FYI: Found Your Insulin

GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

GHA: Got Heartburn Again

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL: Living On Lipitor

LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On

OMMR: On My Massage Recliner

OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.

ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop

TTYL: Talk To You Louder

WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again

WTP: Where’s The Prunes?

WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

There you have it. Seniors, WRDS*

*We rule da skool

With that, I’m packing my gym bag and he’s off to kick boxing. CUL8er

Tea today: Trader Joe’s Organic Green

Related posts:

  1. Happy Birthday KT, (alternately titled Mother’s Day, Part 2)

14 Responses to “Texting with Grandpa (Alternately titled “One Ringy Dingy”)”

  1. katdish says:
    January 10, 2011 at 8:27 am

    AAA…

    Snort! That was hilarious. Poor Ron Burgandy.

    Reply
  2. Wendy says:
    January 10, 2011 at 9:17 am

    Hahahahaha… Oh, wait. IFWIWGS – I forgot what I was gonna say…

    Reply
  3. Sharkbait says:
    January 10, 2011 at 10:22 am

    ROFL… CGU

    And that was all I was going to say about that, but your webpage told me my comment was “a little too short”

    How rude!

    Reply
  4. kelybreez says:
    January 10, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    Oh, Candy! You’re too much!

    Reply
  5. Beth E. says:
    January 10, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    Hahahaha! Oh, I sympathize with Ron B and texting. My boys enjoy laughing, pointing, and making snide remarks whenever I attempt to text in their presence. Hey…it only took me six years to learn to use my cell phone. Now AT&T has bought out out Alltel and is FORCING me to get a new phone. It’s not gonna be pretty. Your senior lingo came at just the right time, though…I plan on using it!

    SGGP…

    Reply
  6. Jake says:
    January 10, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    Candy. Do pacemaker batteries get low? I’m assuming they don’t. I don’t know anything about this technology as I avoid most of it dealing with body parts internal or external. Scary. I love that you’re not old. My parents are about your age and they barely get on the internet. My mom resends the same text every morning. I lve U HAGD (Have a good day– I let her send it for a week before I asked what it meant) YOU on the other hand, blog, tweet, and have jokes about modern culture and technology. My parents still read the paper. I’m impressed with how you’re aging. Way to be. I’m rambling at this point. Have fun!

    Reply
    • Candy says:
      January 11, 2011 at 12:03 am

      You help me reclaim my youth, Jake. Thank you. I haven’t read a newspaper in years. Why pay for stuff that goes on the bottom of a bird cage when you don’t have a bird? So I just read the paper’s website. I trust RB for breaking news.

      HAGD!!

      Reply
  7. Ed says:
    January 11, 2011 at 12:02 am

    I have a cell phone, bought for emergencies only. I did try to send one text message but could not figure out how to input letters. RB is younger than me so he still has enough brain cells left to learn how.

    If I did get into texting I would likely be getting to know the following:

    BMOF = Bite Me Old Fart
    BYOA = Bring Your Own Advil
    CRAT = Can’t Remember A Thing
    ESO = Equipment Smarter than Operator
    LONH = Lights On, Nobody Home
    OMIK = Open Mouth, Insert Keyboard
    RUMCYMHMD = Are You on Medication Cause You Must Have Missed a Dose
    WAI = What An Idiot

    The only text message I need to know:

    ALOTBSOL = Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.