Start here or somewhere
So what to do, what to do?……with the journaling and diaries over the years as I gravitate to the blog? Nothing. It would be sort of like saving your old tupperware lids in hopes of finding the bottoms some day. That journal will go with me to the grave (and beyond). Perhaps there were things there that weren’t meant for the “internets.” Starting anew is good. Never write what you might regret….
I was thinking about what to write tonight as I was on my walk around the lake – it’s been one of those inner-turmoil days where you keep telling yourself “hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.” It was just sort of a punch-in-the-gut, kick-in-the-pants kind of day. Lots of guys and little boys fishing – so precious. Lots of runners – so young. Lots of walkers – most faster than me. Today they didn’t make me too chipper – for some reason it all made me sad.
BUT…I was able to smile and say hello to all (fake it ’til you make it). The clincher was the podcast TAL story on being sorry and how people say it only because they have to or feel obliged and don’t really mean it. It was a great episode, it just sort of made me even more of a “Debbie Downer” after the day I’d had. So here’s a sincere apology – Jess, I promise, I will NEVER take Fiskars to my hair again! I’m REALLY sorry! NO MORE hack jobs that I think I can do myself! You fixed me up good and hopefully I won’t look like Posh Spice tomorrow when I fix my own hair.
When I got home, I read the DM Register “Juice” blog of this pastor/kid/Jesus follower that I love to read/listen to (but the podcasts are so delayed- what’s up with that??) and he talked about God’s gifts of grace, sunlight, and rain, and how even non-believers are showered with these gifts. I felt much better after that – it’s God’s grace that can make such a sourpuss like me go to sleep with a bit of peace, even knowing I was a grouchy Christian today, but God’s grace still shined upon me. I know I’m blessed, I just need some two-by-fours up the side of the head once in a while, even if it comes from a wiser-than-his-years, Doogie-Howser like pastor. He’s awesome. I’ll bet his mama’s proud.
“…Hold my feet to the fire, ’til I’m breaking a sweat, ’til I never forget Your calling, keep me in line, give me the nerve, it’s All in the Serve….” Yep, that’s life AND tennis”