// August 31st, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized
(scroll down and turn off my playlist first!)
My favorite line in this song is “You will always be the same, Your love will never change….” I need the comfort of that knowledge and since I am only human, I occasionally need to be reminded of how faithful really God is, particularly as we await the storms in the Gulf. Pray with me for the safety of our friends in the south.
Tea today: Green with pomegranate
// August 23rd, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized
This song reminds me of someone who warmed my heart this week (it was oh, so cold and spent this week!), because I can see how God has softened her heart. Warmed it. Blessed it.
Put His Fingerprints. All. Over. It.
He has worked through her in the most beautiful ways. I will never doubt that our perspective, heart, or mind can be transformed by His grace. Where there were prolonged whines, there are now simply factual statements that move on. Where there was scowling disagreement when compliments were given, now there is gratitude laced with humility. Where there was sadness and hopelessness, there are now new hopes and “just one more surprise” that push the darkness back to the old places where we refuse to go again. Where there were memories that caused despair and “whys??” there is now an appreciation for growth and understanding and “so whats?” Loneliness morphed into a blessed, prayerful solitude where we are never alone. There are new awakenings to life happenings that are in no way weird or strange or coincidental, but simply a vibrant new awareness to His presence and His plan. Living a life of “me” is gradually pointing toward serving others. “I can’t” is now “I will.” I prayed for this day for so long. I know how sometimes three steps forward means two steps back, but it still means one step ahead. I know. I’ve understood this in my own heart for a very long time. I’m so grateful and blessed with this transformation that oozes the love and mercy of our God who gave everything He had for her, knows her name, and claims her as His own. And everyone else sees it too.
Because that’s just how God rolls. 
Had I posted this a year and a half ago, it would have been Casting Crowns singing Does Anybody Hear Her? because she was “running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction.” Thank you, Lord. You have rocked my world to tears today. And wow, do I love Colossians 3:15-17 at this moment.
Tea today: Young Hyson
// July 28th, 2008 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
OK, so it’s not my birthday. But it was my birthday “weekend” (like at my age I need one of those) and I got a birthday pie and I got birthday presents and I got birthday hugs and spent time with birthday friends. Ol’ practical me. Sometimes God speaks through friends….and Walm@rt gift cards, free produce, and shampoo samples. Now I’m prayerfully drained and it’s bedtime but I can’t stop praying now – it’s just too early. He’s still got some work to do, some light to shine, some grace to give, some hearts to enter, some heads to clear. I will help like it’s my job. Because it is.
// July 15th, 2008 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized
I’ve been listening to a series of sermons (I don’t like the word “sermon”- more like teachings, because I’ve truly learned). The first two were on prayer and really struck a nerve with me. I can hardly wait for the next two. Things I know, things I’ve learned, but things I, as an imperfect human, 
need to be reminded of. When I think of the prayers I’ve sent up to God over the last 57 years, I realize how crude, rude, and extremely selfish I’ve been. Yes, I’ve actually lied to God. (Sure am glad for that Grace gift). Made promises I didn’t keep. Like He didn’t know that?? I mean, He knows what I need, He knows what I want, and He knows it before I ask Him. He knows sometimes I am asking for entirely the wrong thing. He will give me one of three answers every time: Yes, No, or Not Yet. I must trust that His answer is the right one. So as I listen to these teachings again, I fully recognize the bold, raw, unmistakable truth – prayer doesn’t change my situation. It changes me. Over the past few weeks, it’s been huge. He has brought me to a point I wish I’d arrived at about 39 years ago, or even 2 years ago. But I am grateful that I am here now. Peaceful. He’s got my back. He’s a lot smarter than I am. God is really BIG. And tonight, at least for tonight, it feels really, really good. It is not an option for anyone or anything to change this feeling for me right now. I didn’t feel
like this 2 weeks ago. I knew I’d turn a corner, I just didn’t know when. I’m in a different place. Now I’m off to practice because I’ll never get good at this prayer gig if I don’t practice, practice, practice. My first two words will be “Thanks, Abba!” Perhaps “You da Man!” will follow.
Tea tonight: Arizona Green with pomegranate
// July 13th, 2008 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
// May 29th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized
My heart and prayers go out to the hundreds, no thousands, of peopl
e whose lives were torn apart, turned upside down, and tossed as many as 150 miles away by an F-5 tornado on Sunday, just 20 miles away from us. The pictures and stories of survival that are emerging are simply amazing. I’m sure many of these people are wondering WHY?, while many of them just forge ahead and do what needs to be done. Homes and trees that flourshed for decades were stripped from 
the land, leaving piles of matchsticks and sheer destruction. To those who have lost everything, I say, have faith in God who has given you the strength to rebuild, to carry on. May 25, 2008 was planned by Him long before you were on this earth. He will be there with you as you forge ahead – more resilient and hopefully more faithful than ever.
Matthew 6:25-34
Tea tonight: Imperial Dragonwell Lung Ching
// May 24th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized
I spent some time with my dad tonight. I deeply felt his presence, or more than likely 
it was my Father’s presence. Whatever, we were all there together. The night was chilly, and as my aching knees fell on the cold wet grass, I couldn’t deny the comfort in the fact that after 11 years, the sod and seed have finally blended in nicely with Dad’s neighbors. That pleases him, I’m sure. He was always so picky like that, and I’m sure the crab grass that had been there the past couple of years drove him crazy. As do the flowers that now adorn his headstone – “Weeds!” he always called them, no matter how beautiful. It’s a surreal experience that never changes – reading your dad’s name on the granite stone, with Mom’s name right next to his, no date of her death. I love and miss you, Dad. Say hi to Buddy for me. I really hope you two are friends by now.
// May 23rd, 2008 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
~Jeremiah 29:11
Tonight, just a simple prayer.
Tea tonight: Tazo Zen
// April 23rd, 2008 // No Comments » // Uncategorized
I was thinking about what to write tonight as I was on my walk around the lake – it’s been one of those inner-turmoil days where you keep telling yourself “hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.” It was just sort of a punch-in-the-gut, kick-in-the-pants kind of day. Lots of guys and little boys fishing – so precious. Lots of runners – so young. Lots of walkers – most faster than me. Today they didn’t make me too chipper – for some reason it all made me sad.
it just sort of made me even more of a “Debbie Downer” after the day I’d had. So here’s a sincere apology – Jess, I promise, I will NEVER take Fiskars to my hair again! I’m REALLY sorry! NO MORE hack jobs that I think I can do myself! You fixed me up good and hopefully I won’t look like Posh Spice tomorrow when I fix my own hair.
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